"Wife/husband"--too much baggage?

[showmedot]

A meditative piece by a UU minister that touches upon the possible need to change the titles we use for individual married people.

The relevant segment:

Language helps us live. It helps us make meaning out of what is happening to us. It makes certain things too easy and other things too hard. How do you do something for which there is no language? How do you signal your intentions to love someone as long as you can, as well as you can? How do you communicate to friends, family, and strangers the level of commitment you have made to your beloved? How do you feel when the language of your people demands that you fit into the mold of how it’s been done in the past or exist in a blank space without context or culture to even recognize, much less support, what you are doing and who you are?

The context here: www.uuworld.org/spirit/articles/293092.shtml

[Flitzerbiest]

For most, the words husband and wife apply nicely because most married people are straight and/or cisgender. In the relatively rare case of gay or transgender married persons, some creative vocabulary may be necessary. Neither I nor my wife think of me as her wife, but on the other hand, if she were to say something like "I don't want you to be my wife, I want you to be my husband" (and things like this have happened at various crossroads in our relationship), the implication is that the binary gender system must be accepted as universally valid. Read: "stop being transgender". Neat trick, if you can pull it off, but most reasonable people agree it can't be done. "Spouse" sounds awkward, but improves with use, and conveys the message in a neutral fashion. It would be my preferred term.